For many people, finding a partner is one of the most important and challenging tasks of adulthood. Whether they flirt in line at a coffee shop, peruse profiles on dating apps or ask their friends to set them up, they devote enormous time and energy into the pursuit of the perfect mate. Unfortunately, this can make it easy to overlook the warning signs of a toxic relationship and end up with someone who may not be good for them.
A person’s ability to communicate openly is crucial for a healthy relationship. Those who are honest about their feelings and concerns without feeling the need to build up a “case” against the other are typically more likely to stay together for the long haul. A partner who has a sense of humor is also valuable for building and maintaining a happy, healthy connection.
Another important characteristic of a good partner is respect for the other’s opinions and values. “Each partner must be willing to consider the other’s point of view and act in a respectful way,” says Ashley Head, a clinical psychologist with Thriveworks in Hoffman Estates, Illinois. She also suggests looking for a person who respects your own personal boundaries and doesn’t try to control or manipulate you.
Finally, a good partner should be emotionally mature and open to learning from the experiences of previous relationships. It’s often difficult to move on from unhealthy patterns, so look for a person who is ready to grow with you and can learn from the successes and failures of past relationships.
It’s also a good idea to remember that you can change your major in college, but it’s a lot harder to change who you marry. For this reason, it’s vital to take the process of finding a lifelong partner seriously. It’s also a good idea to have a strong support system that can help you through the ups and downs of the dating process.
If you want to Find a partner, forget about what looks right and focus on what feels right for you. You may be surprised to discover that you have more in common with a complete stranger than you think. In the meantime, be sure to keep your own life balanced by focusing on your hobbies, career and maintaining healthy friendships with family and colleagues. You’ll be a more interesting person for it and more likely to find someone who appreciates you for who you are instead of what you can do for them. And who knows—maybe you’ll even meet the love of your life!